Piú

I want to be more...
I want to be better.

As I grow further into adulthood, I am increasingly surprised by the necessity for "more" in my life. I am learning day after day that I must resist the tendency to settle for less, to be okay with the "almost right," and as my friend B. puts it "to not accept the 'good enough' because it is never good enough." I need to keep striving for more. More of what, you may be asking? The answer to that is directly linked to my commitment to excellence in my work. If I am to excel in my singing, teaching, training, and giving, then I need to apply more diligence and/or discipline in every task I undertake.

As I contemplate this whole search for 'more' in my life, one musical term that comes to my mind is the Italian word "piú" which simply means more. Yet, when coupled with qualifiers such as allegro (fast) or lento (slow), this tiny three-letter word can become quite demanding:

*More passion
*More vibrancy
*More practice time
*More sleep and rest
*Better planning
*Better trust
*More preparation
*More "letting go" and release
*Better tone quality
*More intensity
*Better diction
*More dramatic truth
*More involvement
*Better networking
*More money
*More polish
*More, better, more, stronger, more, deeper, more...

It is this continual quest for growth that produces in me the best I can offer to the art of music.
It instills in me a respect for my art and a desire to raise the bar so that those who come after me will find it in a better state. The giants who came before me like Bach, Handel, Mozart, Schubert, Brahms, Wolf, Strauss, Bernstein, Copland, Leontyne Price, Pavarotti, Domingo, have all brought this art form to a higher place from which I can begin my own work. It is my duty to continue boldly in their footsteps.

Yet, all of that is nothing unless I acknowledge the need to grow more intimate with my gracious Lord Jesus. Serving Him through my life requires so much more than music could ever claim. He wills me be generous in spirit, gracious in manner, gentle in speech, truthful in actions, loving in service, joyful in afflictions, earnest in prayer, pure in heart, honest in my condition, obedient to His Word. He offers me undeserved grace, boundless joy, innumerable blessings, the ability to give, the fellowship of others, and so much more. I need to spend more time in His word (reading, memorizing, meditating, praying, and sharing) and be more alert to respond to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

These words from 2 Peter 3:18 say it best,

"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be glory both now and forever! Amen."

So, yes, my call as a musician is quite challenging; but, I deem it a real privilege as it fosters in me this hunger for God and His word. It also brings me to a place of humility as I see my inadequacies and that the only way for me to achieve more is to dwell in Him so that He can do in me what I can never accomplish on my own.

Today, I live and so I need to grow. Today, I get to strive to become more.... Someday, I will be no more. Someday, I will be forgotten. However, should someone speak at my memorial service, I pray and hope that it will be said of me that I lived a life of perpetual growth in my work and that I drew closer and closer to my true identity in Christ.

Blending

I was asleep but now I'm awake.

That is a statement I often say to myself when I am not completely awake but want to be up and about. I also feel that, sometimes, I need to shake myself to be aware of what's happening around me. One such thought has been on my mind lately when I think of the message sent by musicians who are self-proclaimed followers of Christ in an ever-increasingly depraved world.

When I think of my undergraduate years, several words pop in my mind packed with wonderful memories:
- Yosemite Chorale retreat (always a time of complete spiritual renewal),
- Common Grounds (a coffee place on our campus where I often met with friends to discuss life issues),
- Music at Noon (a 30-minute recital that often brings fabulous professional musicians to our school),
- GYRAD (get your roommate a date, usually organized by floor), and
- Music History Labs (always an experience with Mr. O!).

There is still another word that takes me right back to Biola Chorale rehearsals in Crowell Hall 122, and that is the word blending. When I was growing up in Haiti, I did not really know what that word meant in terms of a classical choral sound but that word came floating in the air as soon as I walked into that choir room my freshman year of college. Blending is this wonderful fusion of timbre, acoustical properties, colors, and energy that makes a group of singers sound like one. In order for that to happen, singers must listen to each other and give up the need to be soloistic for the sake of something even better for the group. With a masterful conductor, the experience can be fulfilling and exquisite. Thank God for the Biola Chorale!

Yet, in the hands of an inefficient conductor, blending can be enforced to such an extent that it could be disastrous to the overall choral sound and negatively impact the whole group. It can destroy the unique properties of individual voices causing them to lose their very essence.
The same can be said of us, Christians. When we blend effectively, we can be a fragrant/attractive witness for God. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:22,

"To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some."

We will have a far better chance at bringing others to Christ if we choose to understand the language of the hearts of unbelievers. In doing so we can relate to them and they will trust us with important matters in their lives. However, the Bible also tells us that we can go too far if we are not careful. If we blend too much, i.e. becoming indistinguishable from the rest of the world, then they can't recognize the very thing that sets us apart.

Are people ever surprised to discover that we are Christians due to our thinking patterns, choices of language and clothing, and our actions and activities? I pray not. Romans 12:2 tells us plainly,

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will."

Now, as I make music, I aim to remember that God is the giver of all gifts, including my music. I strive to be the best musician that I can be for His glory. In my actions, I seek to blend with others bearing in mind God's perspective. Jesus came to earth and took on human flesh, that means he has blended himself with us, relates to us, is one of us. He ate with the tax collectors and prostitutes without ever losing His essence. He was humble, generous, kind, loving, yet truthful and firm. What a powerful witness!

Do I blend like Christ? Am I so self-righteous that all people see is legalism and no room for grace? Or do I go to the other extreme and not remain true to my very essence? It is a difficult task, no questions asked. Yet, I can do that too through Christ who strengthens me [Philippians 4:13]. I can use my influence in a quiet way and introduce people to the Friend of sinners, my Savior, my King.

Segue

Per one of my students' request, I find myself writing devotional thoughts and have decided to share them. My hope is that my writing will be a blessing to others.

It is always interesting for me to see or hear how people introduce themselves to others because the first few words that come out often reflect what is truly important to them. Here I go:

I am a lover. I love God and people. I love God's Word and I love music.

I am a giver. I give of my time, talent, treasure, and toil.

I am a teacher. I teach people how to love God, His Word, and His gift of music to the world.

Through the years, I have often felt the need to connect my faith with the musical concepts that I encounter either as I study a score or just by living the life of a musician. It is my way of always keeping my mind alert and focused on "heavenly things" [Colossians 3:1]. It makes sense, then, for me to call this blog The Music Connection. As a particular musical idea comes to mind, I feel myself looking for a deeper spiritual truth that can be extracted from it.

One term that was introduced to me many moons ago is the musical term "segue," which, according to Coleman means "to proceed to the following movement without a break or pause." I am often faced with circumstances in life that require me to move on without lingering on what happened to me in a previous season. My life has been peppered with disappointments, losses, rejections, failures - I know those too well from auditioning - all of which can cause emotional breakdown. Yet, by the power of God's glorious might, I was bought with the ultimate price of the blood of Christ and I have been granted access to His limitless strength which enables me to move on without pause to subsequent seasons of joy, restoration, and excitement. Despite the pain that often accompanies those hard moments, I can experience fullness and joy because Christ strengthens me.

A typical musician, I tend to be quite sensitive and feel things more strongly and more intensely than most. I don't always remember that I have at my disposal the best resource for strength and stability. When challenging times bring me to a place where I have to face a move, whether major or minor, my tendency is to turn to fear. I love God's word because it always provides me with the answer I need in every situation. So to combat my fear, I go to Isaiah 43:1-3,

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire (like the three Hebrew men in the furnace), you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."

How do you segue? Maybe at times you simply want to be stubborn and not change your ways, whether destructive or not. Or, perhaps, you mindlessly go with the flow without taking the time to realize what is truly happening to you. I have learned that change is good because God has called me to join His program of complete transformation into Christ-likeness. In order for that to happen, I know I will have to face many storms that will cause me to change. That period of transition is the time of segue that is so crucial in my spiritual development.

I look forward to the changes/segue that lie ahead of me and I am certain that with Jesus as my guide, many blessings will follow me wherever I go.